It's that time of the week again, kiddies!

Time for your booster shot of comics! Now, instead of keeping with what seems to have been my weekly tradition of just coming in on Wednesday to gripe with a Worst of Wednesday post, I'm going to mix it up. I'm going to talk about all the comics I bought, in down right Simsian style. But first, a graphic!So, let's talk about comics, shall we?

Avengers: The Initiative #12
This issue has saved the book in my opinion. After all the 'KIA' fiasco going on over the past few issues I was ready to call it quits on the book which has really been the only stable purchase since I started writing this little blog here. I mean, ok, so the guy had fused himself with what is, if I may quote Henry Gyrich "the deadliest weapon in the universe". But, even so, I find it hard to imagine anyone being terrified and/or killed by someone named after a line of affordable economy sedans. This book, luckily, a lot less stupid shit and people getting shot. Oh my god.. Did I just say that?

Giant Sized Avenger/Invaders #1
Am I the only one who is getting a bit tired of Marvel rehashing old comics with a new cover and trying to sell it as something new and exciting? Granted, I actually like the stories inside. Mostly my dismay comes from the fact that there was no warning on the front to telling me that it was just a bunch of stuff I've already read. Not all of us have time to spend reading the descriptions of every upcoming release, Marvel. Of course, that's just the way you want it, isn't it? I know how you work, Marvel...

Daredevil: Blood of the Tarantula #1
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Black Tarantula needs his own series. Or at least to be a regularly occurring character in the Daredevil series. Another big win for Brubaker and Parks. Everything about this book is just awesome. If you're still not getting the picture here, let me spell out why you need to buy this book. Black Tarantula beats a drug dealer with a toy pony. For fucking serious. Fuck my blog. Turn off your computer and go read this comic. The internet will be here when you get back.

New Avengers #40
Well, this series has really taken a turn for the better as of late. And by that I mean that Leinell Yu isn't drawing for it anymore. Unfortunately, Bendis is still writing it, and this is one of those issues that really doesn't let you forget that. Let's start with the fact that really none of the new avengers are in this book at all. The closest we get is a clone of Reed Richards and a holograph of Spider-Woman. Otherwise, this book is skrull city. Although, I have to say, naming the planet Satriani was a clever move. Well played, Mr. Bendis...

New Warriors #11
Between the Stephen Colbert presidential ad hanging in the diner and getting to watch Sofia be a total catty bitch to some reporter, this is another issue that saved a series from the chopping block for me. The series up to this point has mostly just been a bunch of kids whining and bitching about how much it sucks to be the new warriors, and then agreeing at the end that being a new warrior is awesome. This one is mostly that, but for some reason it was a little easier to stomach.

The Order #10
I have to say, for a book that has been so hit-and-miss for me lately for most of the run, this last issue really pulled through and made me like the book. Maybe it was the fact that the main villain looks like an evil version of Harry Potter. Maybe it's the panel where an angry mob brain Anthem with a brick (which apparently makes the vowel-less sound "WHD"). Whatever it was, this issue was so badass. It makes me sad to think that this is the end of the line for the series.

X-Men Legacy #210
SPOILER ALERT! My friends, say hello to the Worst of Wednesday. This issue sucks. Really, this whole "legacy" run is pretty terrible in general. The one saving grace for this issue is that the artists somehow found a way make the sentinels look even sillier than they ever have before. And that takes talent.

That's all for now, see you guys next week!


Pardon or delay...

We apologize for the inconvenience, but today's Worst of Wednesday post is being temporarily delayed until Ryan is able to locate, purchase, and read a copy of Ayre Force #1.


The Management


Worst of Wednesday 2008.04.16

It's official, I fucking hate X-Factor. After only really knowing the series from the very first roster, I got back into reading the series during the Messiah CompleX story arc and have carried over into the new Divided We Stand crossovers as well.

Now, I'll admit, I've hated the book ever since I started picking it up last year. Really I only bought because I figure if I'm going to follow a story arc, there's no sense in skipping over just one book. I think the characters are all stupid, the dialog is poorly written, and the plot up to this point has, in the few points where it is not just two guys standing around on the street talking to each other, seemed to mainly focus around "What are the X-men doing right now? Let's go check that out." But then I saw the cover to issue 30
Ok, I'm just going to cut to the chase here. In case you're absolutely fucking blind, let me just go ahead and let you know that Arcade is the bad guy in this issue. Arcade. That alone got me pretty excited in itself, as Arcade usually means "robot clowns" or "giant pinball machine". Any comic book that has Arcade as the bad guy is going to filled with a lot of crazy carnival-themed death traps and is going to be an absolute joy to read.

Except this one, that is. No fucking clowns. No fun and zany traps. What this issue did have was threats of castration, a man rolling around on a huge boulder for what can only be assumed is half the plot of the entire issue (he disappears about 1/4 of the way into it, but appears later to hit someone with the same giant boulder), people being shot, and a man who has nowhere else to turn to in life giving a sad two page monologue all while slowly killing himself by drinking poision.

Not funny at all! Really, not very entertaining in general. Any comic that can make Arcade a lame villain has got to be the worst comic ever written.

But, to give them the benefit of the doubt, Arcade has the greatest socks ever seen in a comic book.


Just a quick tip...

If you're not already reading Image's New World Order,(cover of New World Order #1)
Go buy the first three issues. Now. You won't regret it.

Worst of Wednesday

Well, my stack of new comics this week has inspired me to start up one of those new segments that I only used once and then forget about. This segment is called Worst of Wednesday, and it is where I will highlight the absolute worst comic I bought that particular week.

This first installment actually has me feeling pretty sad. This is because I am going to have to nominate what, up until very recently, has been one of my favorite books. I'm talking about Punisher War Journal #18I can't pinpoint what exactly about this book that makes it seem like such a dog turd cmpared to the rest of the run. It's difficult because every single thing about this book is just terrible. Someone thought it would be a fun idea to take Ariel Olivetti's absolutely amazing artwork and replace it with something that Howard Chaykin's cat painted on accident. Chaykin ranks right up there with Leinil Yu as far as really bad art goes, so to make such a random jump from this:
To this:
just completely kills the book from the start in my opinion. But I figured "Hey, bad art or not, I can still get into Matt Fraction's badass writing on this one!"

Turns out I was wrong. Don't get me wrong, I like a lot of Fraction's work, but the dialog in this issue sounds like it was written by Howard Chaykin's cat. Now, I know most of you have never met Howard Chaykin's cat, but let's just say he doesn't quite have a mastery of the english language.

I honestly just don't know what to do here. I love this series, but with Olivetti gone, it really just feels like an entirely different book. I don't even think I can be funny about this one right now...


Nazi Stomping

Recently I realized something. There is one key factor that makes a comic book great. That factor is Adolf Hitler.

Now, before you write the angry emails, think about. Was there ever a greater point of history in comic books than during World War 2? I don't think anyone can deny that any comic that features Captain America or Superman taking Hitler over his knee and spanking him is probably the greatest comic ever. So, I decide to help bring the joys of fighting Nazis to the world of tabletop nerd games. I had Dale make me a Hitler heroclix.
Hitler is on a custom dial that is (as far as the numerical stats go) based on Captain America. I chose Cap' because it was as close as I could think of to a normal human being while still being powerful. Also, I thought it was kind of funny irony. Let's take a look at his dial.
Hitler enters battle with a stunning combination of Mind Control, Impervious, and Leadership to simulate his ability to persuade people to do his bidding (in this case, protect him from his opponents). 4 clicks in and he starts to get scared. He loses Leadership, but it is replaced with Mastermind, as he commands his troops to throw themselves in front of the oncoming attacks. As the dial winds down, he loses his Mind Control and eventually hits rock bottom and poisons himself for a KO.

All in all, a pretty fun to play character. Of course, you can never actually bust Hitler out at the gaming table, because then everyone knows you are the kind of guy who would pay good money to pretend his is Hitler. But, that point aside, there is much more to this than just a single figure. There are also bystander tokens!

That's right, what custom clix post would be complete without a few fun new bystander tokens to dream up scenarios with. Let's take a look at what we have for this round.

We start with the standard Nazi soldier. There's not really much to say about this guy. He's carries a gun, so I gave him good range. But, since we all know from reading WW2-era comics that a Nazi soldier could not hit a target standing 4 feet in front of him, his actual attack points are a bit lacking. Then we move into the more modern day scenarios with 2 Neo-Nazi bystander tokens.
The Neo-Nazi Muscle is that racist jerk that everyone has met at least once. Big enough to really kick your ass if you piss him off, but generally content to sit on the couch with a Budweiser and talk about building a fence to 'keep the illegals out'. Of course, you're really in trouble if you get him pissed after he's had a few of those beers. For the sake of this scenario, let's say that's what is happening now.
Then we have the mysterious character known as "Klaus". Who is Klaus, and why doesn't he have a more well-defined name? The world may never know. (Although really, it's just creative laziness on my part).

These 3 tokens are all based on pre-existing ones made by Wizkids, so technically they are all legal pieces for your gaming experience. This next one, not so much. This last pog was inspired by the very outstanding comic book Invaders #32. This issue finds The Invaders matching blows with The Mighty Thor, who apparently thought it was a good idea to be a Nazi. I now present to you Nazi Thor.Nazi Thor is a pog you do not want to fuck with. He's got Leap/Climb (to simulate his ability to fly), Super Strength, Toughness, and Ranged Combat Expert (for when he throws his mighty hammer at your ass) and a range of 6. Not to mention that his stats are pretty insanely high for a bystander token. Of course, with a point value of 50, he's not exactly something you'll be using too often.

So, there you have it. All you need to relive the wonderful years of 1937-1945. Have fun, and Buy War Bonds!