Greetings, Dear Reader! It seems that today we stand face-to-face with another Sunday, and that can only mean it's time for another traditional Drunk Sunday Post! Today we will be reviewing one of my favorite Silver Age titles, World's Finest # 215, put out by DC Comics in 1973. I know what you're thinking...
What How!?! indeed Sir, but, I have been known to read a good DC every now and again (in fact, I am quite a big fan of the new Green Arrow/Black canary series). But, I digress. Today we'll be talking about something other than that comic I just mentioned. In fact, we'll be talking about that first one! You know, the World's Finest one I said earlier.
Let's start our review, by showing just how great a concept this comic has. Just take a look at the cover!
Apparently, both Superman AND Batman have teenage sons, who we've never hear about ever. And, I think we all know how teenagers are. Always trying to be independent of their 'square' parents. Unless of course, they're these kids. In this particular case, they basically want to "run their own lives" by being exactly the same as their dads. Namely, by being big, pompous douche-bags.
Page one opens with our heroes stifling 'manly tears' at a funeral. But a funeral for whom? This question remains to be answered! Our story really starts with a young Clark Kent Jr., talking to his father on the phone while at work at the local community center. His old man is giving him the usual "I can't let you be like me, because it's dangerous and your mom would totally freak the hell out" speech. Total Squaresville. Then, out of left field, a motorcycle crashes through the window, and the community center is attacked by none other thanSatan's Sockers themselves! That's right, the most hardcore motorcycle gang in all of Metropolis is busting through your window CK Jr., and they're gonna really sock it to ya! So, instead of allowing the Satan's Sockers to so it to him!, CK Jr. decides to admit to being romantically involved with a five year old child. Don't ask me how this got past the Comics Code Authority, I don't know.
Lil' Superman kicks their asses, blah blah blah. Enter Bruce Wayne Jr. Same story here, but instead of working in a community center trying to make a differen,ce he;s just a rich asshole who has daddy issues. They both hook up and run off together to complain about how the man is holding them down. This leaves Superman and Batman Sr. with a big problem on their hands. They have to figure out something to do with their problem children. They decide the best thing they can do is to sit their children down and calmly explain the dangers of being a superhero and hope that their son's understand and decide to hold of on taking that responsibility until they are better able to handle it. The End.
Oh wait, sorry, that was a typo. What I meant to say is they decide that the only thing to do is put their sons in grave, life-threatening danger where they are almost certain to be killed. And just fucking leave them. So, that's what they did. They consult Batman's 'Crime File', which is just apparently a huge drawer stuck somewhere in his house with the word 'Crime File' printed right there on it.
Anywho, the consult the Crime File and learn that Rocco Krugge, the crime lord of Sparta City is getting ready to die. They figure they can send the kids there to 'finish the job' if you know what I mean. You know, maybe Rocco wakes up to find someone accidentally smothered him to death with a pillow. Something like that.
Of course, Supes, being the dick that he is, "improves" on Batty's plan by creating a duplicate version of Sparta City through some confusing comic book science that involves earthquakes or something. But, it works, which is all that matters. The kids go to town on their rebellious motorcycle and thwart some baddies for a while (implementing such sound effects as "WHOOOOOOOSSSSSSHH", "TSOK", and "KWAN"). Then, they take a quick break to have a pillow fight. Seriously. They do.This is shortly followed by a dramatic scene where they ride an exploding motorcycle. Then GASP!, they're both captured by the crime lord Rocco and Superman Jr. (the actual superhero name he chose. he and Batman Jr. don't beat around the bush) is trapped under a bunch of cement with a resounding SPOOOOOOOSH. He and Batman Jr. both die. So long Supes and Batty Jr.
But then something amazing happens! A woman makes a suggestion, and Superman listens! Of course, to defend his manliness, it's only to keep he and Batman from being nagged, as you see in this panel
So as you might imagine, Supes Sr. gets all distraught and is like "OMG, Batty is gonna be so P.O.'d at me!". Luckily, as you also probably might imagine, they're not really dead. No really good explanation on how that occurred, but they win and the bad guy loses. Then those to scamps ride off into the sunset on their motorcycle (which, mysteriously, repaired itself since the "explody-motorcycle" panel earlier). All in all, this comic ranks up there with the best of the best. The only thing it's really missing is a panel showing batman on his knees in the rain screaming "NOOOOOOO"!
but, close enough.