Nazi Stomping

Recently I realized something. There is one key factor that makes a comic book great. That factor is Adolf Hitler.

Now, before you write the angry emails, think about. Was there ever a greater point of history in comic books than during World War 2? I don't think anyone can deny that any comic that features Captain America or Superman taking Hitler over his knee and spanking him is probably the greatest comic ever. So, I decide to help bring the joys of fighting Nazis to the world of tabletop nerd games. I had Dale make me a Hitler heroclix.
Hitler is on a custom dial that is (as far as the numerical stats go) based on Captain America. I chose Cap' because it was as close as I could think of to a normal human being while still being powerful. Also, I thought it was kind of funny irony. Let's take a look at his dial.
Hitler enters battle with a stunning combination of Mind Control, Impervious, and Leadership to simulate his ability to persuade people to do his bidding (in this case, protect him from his opponents). 4 clicks in and he starts to get scared. He loses Leadership, but it is replaced with Mastermind, as he commands his troops to throw themselves in front of the oncoming attacks. As the dial winds down, he loses his Mind Control and eventually hits rock bottom and poisons himself for a KO.

All in all, a pretty fun to play character. Of course, you can never actually bust Hitler out at the gaming table, because then everyone knows you are the kind of guy who would pay good money to pretend his is Hitler. But, that point aside, there is much more to this than just a single figure. There are also bystander tokens!

That's right, what custom clix post would be complete without a few fun new bystander tokens to dream up scenarios with. Let's take a look at what we have for this round.

We start with the standard Nazi soldier. There's not really much to say about this guy. He's carries a gun, so I gave him good range. But, since we all know from reading WW2-era comics that a Nazi soldier could not hit a target standing 4 feet in front of him, his actual attack points are a bit lacking. Then we move into the more modern day scenarios with 2 Neo-Nazi bystander tokens.
The Neo-Nazi Muscle is that racist jerk that everyone has met at least once. Big enough to really kick your ass if you piss him off, but generally content to sit on the couch with a Budweiser and talk about building a fence to 'keep the illegals out'. Of course, you're really in trouble if you get him pissed after he's had a few of those beers. For the sake of this scenario, let's say that's what is happening now.
Then we have the mysterious character known as "Klaus". Who is Klaus, and why doesn't he have a more well-defined name? The world may never know. (Although really, it's just creative laziness on my part).

These 3 tokens are all based on pre-existing ones made by Wizkids, so technically they are all legal pieces for your gaming experience. This next one, not so much. This last pog was inspired by the very outstanding comic book Invaders #32. This issue finds The Invaders matching blows with The Mighty Thor, who apparently thought it was a good idea to be a Nazi. I now present to you Nazi Thor.Nazi Thor is a pog you do not want to fuck with. He's got Leap/Climb (to simulate his ability to fly), Super Strength, Toughness, and Ranged Combat Expert (for when he throws his mighty hammer at your ass) and a range of 6. Not to mention that his stats are pretty insanely high for a bystander token. Of course, with a point value of 50, he's not exactly something you'll be using too often.

So, there you have it. All you need to relive the wonderful years of 1937-1945. Have fun, and Buy War Bonds!


Stephen said...

you are on crazy mofo. and adolf hitler firgure should be like all kos and a one attack that results in suicide. you forgot misguided child nazi soldier. i love nazi thor and klaus(u got to do a christmas version of him santa klaus).

Lindsey said...

But what about Earth 597 Nazi Nightcrawler?

Really now, he's Nightcrawler, but he's a nazi! If I were Hitler I would be all up in that.