Slightly Less Boring Than Regular Monopoly

When it comes to board games, monopoly ranks up there with backgammon on the Bored-O-Meter. It's a fun game for about 20 minutes, and then you have to start actually thinking about things. Here's a rough transcript of a conversation between two monopoly player:

Player 1: Um, fuck yes I want St. Charles Place. Here's $140
Player 2: 1,2,3,4,5,6 Marvin Gardens? Yes please.

But then, the terrible moment happens:

Player 1: fuck, income tax. What's more, 10% of 497, or 200 bucks?
Player 2: um, i dunno.
Player 1: let's just stop playing
Player 2: Yeah, why did we think monopoly was a good idea anyways. We should stop drinking so much.

So, as this scientific study has shown, monopoly is not fun. It's great fun when you can say "hell yes, give me that spot" and then gloat to your friends, but once you start having to mortgage things it stops being fun. That's why I usually just avoid monopoly all together. My motto when it comes to this game is:

"If I wanted to worry about debt, I'd just check my bank statement"

But, I'm a sucker. Several weeks ago, I came across a little game called My Marvel Heroes Monopoly. I bought it. I've thought about it for a while now, trying to sum up the experience in a simple, succinct way. Well, I think I finally have th perfect explanation figured out.

"My Bad"

Oops! I accidentally thought this game would be entertaining. But after playing this game with my girlfriend, I quickly came to a startling epiphany. It's exactly the same as regular Monopoly. Now, that's not to say there wasn't an enjoyable part to it.

The most fun of the game comes from deciding which characters will get to be what spots on your board. You get a wide range of characters, from people that make you say "Hell yeah, gotta put him on" to characters that make you go "What? Lockheed is even an option?". Yes, that's right. You can choose Lockheed as a spot on your board. So, I did. But I won't bore you with the details of every spot on my board. Also, I'm tired and hungry. So, this is going to be the end of the post. Now, it's pot roast time.

Maybe you should go read another blog


gypsydavy said...

Great Scot! Who is this girlfriend you speak of? She sounds hot. You should talk about her more often. In fact, I think you should make this entire blog about how awesome she is because, after all, that's how awesome she is.

Someone who is most certainly not your girlfriend.

Ryan said...

Totally, she's such a smokin' hottie. and she's got a great rack. HEY! wait a second....

you ARE my girlfriend, aren't you?