Drunken Comic Conspiract Theory - WHAT THE FUCK?!

Hey, you guys remember that time I got drunk and blogged about comics? Today, in memory of that one time, I decided to get drunk and blog. About comics. Kinda.

First and foremost, I'm happy to announce that WIFL is the #1 google and yahoo search results for "kinetokinesis". But aside from that, I bought some comics today!

So yeah, comics came out yesterday, but I had to tend to a sick girlfriend, so I wasn't able to make it to the comic shop until today. And, guess what? The new Messiah CompleX is FUCKING SOLD OUT!

IN ONE FUCKING DAY! I mean, what the hell, man, seriously?!? Obviously, this is just another plot by the Purifiers in their insidious conspiracy against me. I was afraid it would happen, and I was right. It seems this thing goes all the way to the top.

God himself is in on it. He sent his only son to earth to delay my comics, knowing damn well that my girlfriend would get sick the day they came out. I'm on to you, God! Also...


I read Captain America #33. and I just have to say, "WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK, MARVEL?". Bucky? REALLY? Come on! I think we all know that's a fucking cop-out. I mean, I'm okay with being wrong in my initial comic conspiracy theory about spider-man being the new Cap, but can't we be more original that Bucky? Let's look at our other options you gave us to choose from (after you narrowed it down to 6 people, that is)

1. Bucky: Fuck him. Now, don't get me wrong, I like this new "badass, totally not a young gay kid who serves no purpose but to get captured and make Captain American rescue him" image you guys are going for with him, but i think I already covered fuck him.
2. Iron Man: Umm, Iron Man is already a well established character in the public eye, so not likely.
3. Red Skull: NAZI! 'nuff said
4. Union Jack: Not from America, 'nuff said!
5. U.S. Agent: Isn't he working for the canadian government now? I'm not even going to get into the stupidity of a guy named U.S. Agent working for the Canucks, so let's just leave him out of it.
6. Hawkeye.


Do it, Marvel. Make Hawkeye the new Cap. I mean, what the hell else is he doing right now? Come on, Marvel, don't be a pussy!

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