Also, I kind of just started watching South Park and forgot.
So, here's one last post for today, with all it's chain-belt wearing glory!
SWEET CHRISTMAS FUTURE!
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!
2007-12-25
Sweet Christmas Coverage! vol. 6
Eh, I give up. Turns out when you go to work on Christmas, you still have to actually work. Can't just waste the day surfing the internet and making hourly blog posts.
Also, I kind of just started watching South Park and forgot.
So, here's one last post for today, with all it's chain-belt wearing glory!
Also, I kind of just started watching South Park and forgot.
So, here's one last post for today, with all it's chain-belt wearing glory!
Sweet Christmas Coverage! vol.5
Never Forget.
Man, 12 posts in one day is a lot harder that I thought it would be.
Sweet Christmas Coverage! vol.3
Hour 3 is when we learn that Santa doesn't appreciate his so-called "friends"
Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. And he's kind of a jerk.
Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. And he's kind of a jerk.
Sweet Christmas Coverage! vol.2
Coming at you again with what is, perhaps, the scariest combination of kitties and Christmas ever!
Sweet Christmas Coverage! vol.1
Twas the morning of Christmas, I was stuck at my work
for no real reason, 'cept my boss is a jerk
Heh. Just kidding Jeff, just needed something to rhyme with work. So yeah, 7AM, here I am. Hungover. Stuck at work. On Christmas. For the next 12 hours. But you know what, Dear Reader? Lucky you, that's what! Because 12 is also the amount of posts i'm going to do today! That's right, today is the perfect day for me to begin my
SWEET CHRISTMAS COVERAGE!
Every hour, on the hour, I'll be posting a new Christmas-themed post for your reading pleasure. First up on the menu?
Kneel Before Klaus!
This panel comes to us from the pages of Badger #70, and from our friends over at Random-Happenstance
for no real reason, 'cept my boss is a jerk
Heh. Just kidding Jeff, just needed something to rhyme with work. So yeah, 7AM, here I am. Hungover. Stuck at work. On Christmas. For the next 12 hours. But you know what, Dear Reader? Lucky you, that's what! Because 12 is also the amount of posts i'm going to do today! That's right, today is the perfect day for me to begin my
SWEET CHRISTMAS COVERAGE!
Every hour, on the hour, I'll be posting a new Christmas-themed post for your reading pleasure. First up on the menu?
Kneel Before Klaus!This panel comes to us from the pages of Badger #70, and from our friends over at Random-Happenstance
2007-12-23
Party Girl, The Rita Jones Story
With Christmas day fast approaching, I've decide to take a risk at alienating my readership by reviewing one of my favorite comic publishers in the world. That publishing company? Chick Publications. This company prints those hilariously zany super-religious comic tracts that you sometimes find on the windshield of your car, or being passed out by some nut at the park. Most of them are pretty disturbing, but there's one in particular that will blow your mind with its awesomeness. That story is
So, today, I bring you panel by panel coverage of the single greatest religious comic of all time. Our story begins in the quaint lair of the devil himself, where a party planning committee is in session!
2 weeks before the big party, and you've already loaded the city with drugs and alcohol? Apparently Satan never went to college. I can burn through a city load of beer in a weekend on a bad day. Luckily, they'll still be able to keep the party pumping with some crunchy tunes.
Yes, what could POSSIBLY go wrong? The devil has such a terrific track record up to now, this whole party scheme is a sure thing, right? Right? Maybe not, because...
Oh shit. After receiving a telepathic message from her BFF God, Rita Jones, the worlds foremost old lady, is on the case. She wastes no time making her 3 hour trek across the room to the telephone to call her granddaughter. Getting no answer, she decides to take the law into her own hands.
Apparently, in the rush to get to Jill in time, she completely misses the fact that she's been living in the same apartment as a devil monster for the past 78 years. But she's got no time for that, there's a granddaughter to save, damnit!
That's right. Rita Jones is so badass that Satan himself sees her as an immediate threat. Chuck Norris sleeps with a picture of Rita Jones next to his bed.
I LOVE to part here... This is my FAVORITE spot! Right here next to this creepy fat guy in a mask.
You know, I don't think I even need to point out the redundancy of his choice in costumes.
Yes, when looking for a single person in the midst of a large Mardi Gras-esque street festival, the best mode of operations is to ask the young cross-eyed boy which way to go. Speaking of which, where are that boy's parents?
Saving you from years of emotional scarring and therapy to recover from the horrors of date rape, that's what!
Yes, no sense in letting one single cosmopolitan go to waste. Good thing we had you around to act as our voice of reason, Fat Weird Al.
Sure, the drink killed him. But nobody notices how much weight he lost! I'd say that's fair exchange. Also, Jill, you're a grown woman who was flirting with a fat, greasy man in a mask while you were wearing some strange snake headdress in public and you're only embarrassed now?
I stand corrected. Apparently stupid headdresses are all the rage with the kids these days.
Honestly, I've got nothing for this one...
She said, as she stifled a yawn.
Am I the only one who notices what appears to be Ray Charles, Queen Latifah, and the Pope walking around at Satan's party? The next few panels are strictly about the story of Jesus, which I'm sure we've all heard before, so I left it out.
Good lord, Jill. For some reason I don't think that nasty granny incest is exactly what God has in mind.
So remember kids, drugs and alcohol aren't the only way to have a good time and should be used only in moderation. Also, don't talk to fat guys in masks because they are probably in cahoots with the devil.
So, today, I bring you panel by panel coverage of the single greatest religious comic of all time. Our story begins in the quaint lair of the devil himself, where a party planning committee is in session!
2 weeks before the big party, and you've already loaded the city with drugs and alcohol? Apparently Satan never went to college. I can burn through a city load of beer in a weekend on a bad day. Luckily, they'll still be able to keep the party pumping with some crunchy tunes.
Yes, what could POSSIBLY go wrong? The devil has such a terrific track record up to now, this whole party scheme is a sure thing, right? Right? Maybe not, because...
Oh shit. After receiving a telepathic message from her BFF God, Rita Jones, the worlds foremost old lady, is on the case. She wastes no time making her 3 hour trek across the room to the telephone to call her granddaughter. Getting no answer, she decides to take the law into her own hands.
Apparently, in the rush to get to Jill in time, she completely misses the fact that she's been living in the same apartment as a devil monster for the past 78 years. But she's got no time for that, there's a granddaughter to save, damnit!
That's right. Rita Jones is so badass that Satan himself sees her as an immediate threat. Chuck Norris sleeps with a picture of Rita Jones next to his bed.
I LOVE to part here... This is my FAVORITE spot! Right here next to this creepy fat guy in a mask.
You know, I don't think I even need to point out the redundancy of his choice in costumes.
Yes, when looking for a single person in the midst of a large Mardi Gras-esque street festival, the best mode of operations is to ask the young cross-eyed boy which way to go. Speaking of which, where are that boy's parents?
Saving you from years of emotional scarring and therapy to recover from the horrors of date rape, that's what!
Yes, no sense in letting one single cosmopolitan go to waste. Good thing we had you around to act as our voice of reason, Fat Weird Al.
Sure, the drink killed him. But nobody notices how much weight he lost! I'd say that's fair exchange. Also, Jill, you're a grown woman who was flirting with a fat, greasy man in a mask while you were wearing some strange snake headdress in public and you're only embarrassed now?
I stand corrected. Apparently stupid headdresses are all the rage with the kids these days.
Honestly, I've got nothing for this one...
She said, as she stifled a yawn.
Am I the only one who notices what appears to be Ray Charles, Queen Latifah, and the Pope walking around at Satan's party? The next few panels are strictly about the story of Jesus, which I'm sure we've all heard before, so I left it out.
Good lord, Jill. For some reason I don't think that nasty granny incest is exactly what God has in mind.
So remember kids, drugs and alcohol aren't the only way to have a good time and should be used only in moderation. Also, don't talk to fat guys in masks because they are probably in cahoots with the devil.
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